If you choose to commemorate our national day off of work today, you might say “Happy Memorial Day” to people you meet. But really, I’m not sure “happy” is the proper greeting. This is a day to remember those citizens who gave their lives as a member of the military in the service of our country.

I know this is a day that some people will say “thank you for your service/sacrifice” to living service members. While technically incorrect (we should really save that for Veteran’s Day), I’m personally not opposed to the sentiment. Our service members, current and retired, certainly have a right to their own perspective on this. But personally I appreciate any time someone from outside of a military family actually thinks about and appreciates those who volunteer to defend us.

That last bit is what drives my thoughts today — the fact that, as a country, we are largely thoughtless about our fellow citizens in the military. Unless you are a vet, or have a relative or close personal friend involved, you probably think about our service people almost never. Less than one percent of our citizens serve, and they tend to come from lower socio-economic brackets. These are people that most of us don’t know, don’t notice, and don’t think about. And yet, they fight and in too many cases die for us every day.

Maybe this is why most of us are willing to treat wars like Hollywood movies or video games. And it is definitely why our politicians get away with doing pretty much whatever they want to with our military. Most of our citizens just don’t care enough to be bothered by how our soldiers are used.

Here’s what I think about on Memorial Day: I don’t want any American citizen to have their life spent in a cause that isn’t militarily necessary, and preferably just.

There are things we need to do militarily, and I like the fact that we have the strongest military on the planet to do those things. (side note: we could probably cut our military budget in half and still have the clearly strongest military, but that’s another post) If anyone is ever stupid enough to attack us, or one of our close allies, they should know that it will be the last thing they ever do.

But in my lifetime, and for a couple of decades before that, most (all?) of our wars have been wars of choice. More specifically, wars of political choice, by politicians, that have very little to do with reasonable, just objectives. We have known what “just war” is for 100s of years, and it involves a defensive war against a clear aggressor, with clear objectives and proportional means among other things. And that’s simply not the wars we have been fighting.

We elect politicians who treat war like a movie or video game, and I’m afraid they rarely think about the lives they are using in their political goals. Real lives. Human lives. Our fellow citizens who volunteered to defend us. I doubt there are very many soldiers who signed up to defend Bill Clinton’s military goals. Or George Bush’s (either one). Or Barack Obama’s. Or Donald Trump’s. Most of our soldiers signed up to defend the United States and our country’s interests. To defend their friend and neighbors and relatives, and a bunch of people they never met, possibly by giving their lives.

Which brings us back to the point. What I think of on Memorial Day is the lives that have been spent in defense of our country. And how many of our top politicians don’t seem to put enough thought into those lives, and act on political goals that are not worthy of the sacrifices they demand.

Instead of criticizing the politicians though, I’m going to end by criticizing us — the American citizens and voters — who allow our politicians to continually engage in wars of choice that put our fellow citizens into harms way for political reasons.

If we want to honor our fallen soldiers, then WE need to pay more attention to our politicians. WE need to hold them accountable when our soldiers lives are given for political reasons, and not out of military necessity. And while we can certainly engage in reasonable arguments around the edges of what is “needed,” many of our recent conflicts do NOT fit into that category. And our politicians need to be held to account when American lives are lost. WE need to start paying attention again, find our conscience, and vote with it.

We’ve had some important wars, with causes worth dying for. But World War II may be our most recent clean-cut, clear example of this. And a lot of good people have given their lives since that time in the service of our country. Let’s try to remember them by doing better in the future, and by holding to account the people who send them to war.