The “white nationalist” rally (Klan? Nazis? Hard to tell from the various symbols at the march, they all ran together) at the University of Virginia yesterday is a horrific example of how a subset of Americans can be swayed by the easy road of hatred, as opposed to the much harder, more complex reality of the world we live in.

First, since some will call for it: as a white male I would like to completely and unconditionally denounce the marchers. While I believe they had a right to march as part of their free speech, my free speech rights allow me to say that not only do they not represent me, but they don’t represent any human beings that I want to associate with in any way.

The people involved have chosen to view the world through a lens of hate. Perhaps they were taught to do it, and our politicians (Trump in particular recently) and some media outlets certainly encourage it – but at its base this is about human beings making a choice to hate those who they view as different. This choice defines them more than their silly tiki torches or confederate flag/monument worship. They hate blacks (and apparently Jews too from some of the slogans) because they want to.

If psychological analyses hold true, this is largely because hating someone and blaming your problems on someone else is easier than confronting the issues in your own life. Its EASY to say the blacks/Jews/gays/trans/immigrants/Muslims are out to get me. You can even put up a target and fire your guns at them when you are really frustrated.

But these people are really saying something else. And that is: my life sucks so much that the only way I can feel better about myself is to find a victim and blame them for my problems. In many cases, their problems may actually be too hard to really fix – that happens sometimes, especially when the economic circumstances of our society have screwed you for too long. In other case, this may just be the easy/lazy way out. Human beings LIKE to have others to blame for their problems. We LIKE simple answers, even if they aren’t connected to reality.

What does this all mean? The people involved in this march, and those who support it, still CHOSE to be racist. While their circumstances might make that seem easier, it’s still a choice. And they made it.

I’m not  big on using the word “love” in situations like this, because personally I think it’s overused. I prefer “acceptance” as the opposite of hate.

Each of us have choices to make in life, and we need to make these pretty much constantly. We can accept other people. We can live and let live. We can look at our personal problems, at the things that make our lives difficult, in all of its complexity, and we can try to do something about it. We can work with others when possible to fix things. We can accept that there is something that links us all at a basic level: we’re all human beings. Race, color, creed, sexuality and other differences are things that WE create, and that we can empower or accept.

Or we can blame others, and find targets to hate. It’s easier that way. No muss, no fuss, just grab a torch and blame somebody else for your problems.

Your choice, but don’t forget that others will absolutely judge you for it.